Editorial: Urban nightmare

I was recently marooned in the city of Hull when I took my truck in for a cover to be fitted.

The hour-and-a-half fitting time turned out to be a little on the conservative side when I turned up at 8am – to be told that I could return for the vehicle at four that afternoon.

To say I was a little put out would be an understatement of epic proportions, but let’s just say that the receptionist extended her vocabulary somewhat during a crash course on customer relations given by yours truly.

However, rant done and spleen vented, 4pm it was still to be. Therefore I indignantly headed out on Shanks’s pony to explore the metropolis of Kingston-upon-Hull.

Had I understood the geography of my location, I might not have been so keen to go it alone on foot.

I found myself on the west end of Hessle Road in Gypsyville. It was voted the worst place to live in England, and I soon found out why.

There was more dog dirt on the footpath than in a hunt kennel, while most of the male populace flaunted the neo-Nazi look of shaven heads with tattooed necks circled in gold, and sporting an illegal pit bull straining at the leash.

Even the billboards were in character, reporting a local father had just received life at Her Majesty’s pleasure for beating his only son to death.

I kid you not – I have been in some of the world’s crapholes but even Kate Adie would have thought twice about venturing into this slum without a full complement of bodyguards and air support back-up.

I pulled my shirt cuff over my watch with one hand, then quickly placed it back in my pocket to cover my wallet, all the while trying to look as mean, or at least as little of a victim as one can when wearing a tweed jacket and chinos in this urban jungle.

Thankfully, after turning about I walked the full length of Hessle Road and on into the town centre to find some semblance of civilisation without mishap.

That was until a transit van cut the corner over the low kerb, much to the detriment of my toes as it sped over my left foot and carried on towards its destination, the driver completely oblivious to my injury.

The Thursday from hell eventually ended at 7.30pm when I finally returned to the outskirts of the sleepy East Coast seaside resort where I live.

The experience was a sobering one to say the least. It angered me to think of the time and money spent by successive governments trying to curtail our sport or legitimate firearms ownership, when that effort and currency would have been better spent cleaning the slums of our once great nation.

I imagine most of those Gypsyville chavs I passed that day were, if not on their way to commit a crime, then probably just returning from having committed one.

And these misfits’ votes count just as much as ours – they may not be able to write, but they can still just about manage to put an x in a box.

A big part of England is certainly a green and pleasant land, but much of it is also a grey and distinctly unpleasant one.

Let’s hope the latter never actually rules over the former.

Peter Carr, editor-in-chief

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5 comments on “Editorial: Urban nightmare
  1. Michael says:

    Hahahaha!!!

    Bloody great editorial! Peter Carr for Prime Minister gets my vote!!

  2. Erik Burger says:

    Dear Mr. Carr,

    I am a subscriber to Sporting Rifle.
    I am also reasonably wealthy, Conservative, and like politically incorrect jokes.
    However, through shooting I also associate and socialise with some people who live on Council Estates and come from pretty rough area’s of my own local town. A shared sport or hobby can bring people from totally different backgrounds together.

    Your story is not funny (even though I realise it is meant to be), and it is offensive to people who happen to live the area of Hull you are referring to, because there will be many normal hard-working tax-paying families there as well.
    More importantly it is totally irrelevant to the content of a magazine specialising in rifle sports.
    So what were you thinking, when you created this peace of journalism? Do you think it helps promote the image of shooting sports? No, of course it doesn’t.
    I do hope you will publish some kind of apology in the next issue, otherwise you do not deserve to title of ‘Editor-in-chief.’

  3. Mike McCarthy says:

    Peter

    You have my sympathy. Far too many of our towns and cities are populated by these Jeremy Kyle show wasters. Who would rather breed with as many of their kind as possible, whilst claiming as much social security benefit money off the government, and robbing as many decent citizens and hard working businesses as they can. They would rather spend what money they are given or can thieve on their drugs, booze and Primark clothing. Whilst feeding their ever growing hordes of equally obnoxious, snotty nosed offspring on takeaways and frozen pizzas. They are completely apathetic towards honest hard work as a means of earning a living.

    Like swine they relish their slovenly existences and like swine education and social improvements as wasted upon them. As they as a pig is happy in s***.

    They constitute over 85% of our prison populations both male and female. They are as population demographic the greatest drain on our national financial resources that would otherwise be spent of hospitals, education and crime reduction.

  4. Iain Campbell says:

    I was shocked by this Editorial, seldom have I read article in such poor tasted how far is Mr Carr,s head up his on arse I have purchased all your past editions but this is the last one I will be buying

  5. Michael says:

    An editorial is simply that; an editors personal anecdotes, it doesn’t have to be rifle/shooting releated every time.

    This editorial is controversial, but for me that’s whole point of it. It’s a bit tongue in cheek(shame some people can’t see that!) but it raises important points about the state of some britians population areas and its a shame the politically correct police have hounded this work.

    More needs to done to alleviate the growing spread of benefit seeking, apathetic family’s that have become the staple of many British housing estates.

    I suppose this article could have done with a comment highlighting that not EVERY one is a neo-nazi in this estate, but for christ’s sake will everyone calm down!!!! It’s an editorial, tongue in cheek, funny but with a meaningful point piece.

    Calm down dear, it’s only an editorial!!!! 🙂

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